Yang's Bird Buffet
by Cornonjacob
Summary: Yang goes birdwatching with her team and JNPR, but due to a series of incidents, a bunch of birds defecate on her while Ruby has issues with Jaune. Yang has to deal with the bird poop all over her face and hair. It's quite unfortunate. Trigger Warning: Mild Violence, Sticky Liquids, Jojo's.


Yang Xiao Long was having an excellent day with her friends, staring at birds located at a higher altitude than she was. She loved the way the birds would flap their wings and not crash into the ground.

"You know what would make these birds so much cooler?" Yang asked to nobody in particular despite being surrounded by her equally mentally inadequate peers, "Some quality music."

Before anyone could complain or protest, Yang pressed the button on her big ass boombox that all the cool kids these days were lugging around, and she was rad so she had one. It immediately began blasting out her playlist of classical music far ahead of it's time, starting with Crawling in my Crawl, by Licking Park, disturbing all living creatures in the vicinity for they were all too simpleminded to handle the complexity and deep meaning behind the music.

"Crawling in my crawl! These crawls, they will not crawl!" The boombox said in a very loud and obnoxious voice. The sharp lyrics were so edgy, they cut down multiple trees, which proceeded to fall on Weiss' because they hated her for being a cisgendered white woman.

Ruby attempted to save her unlikeable partner, but she had no physical strength and failed to do anything productive aside from scrape her poor soft hands on the tree bark. To her credit, she only cried for 20 minutes.

"Wow Ruby, you're so brave for trying to help Weiss..." Blake consoled, "But not as brave as Caitlyn Jenner!"

Blake's pathetic attempt at being a mom only caused Ruby to resume crying. Jaune got an eyeful of Ruby's inelegant blubbering, which hastened the salty tears streaming down her snot nosed sniveling face, and he tried very hard to hide his erection. But his efforts to conceal his arousal were not as hard as his raging boner.

"FUCK, FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING CAMPERS, I'M LAGGING SHIT, FUCKING SHIT, I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT. 1V1 ME FUCKING FAGGOT I WILL NOSCOPE YOU." Jaune's penis raged.

Some of the people there had now noticed Jaune's maddening member, including Jaune, but before anyone could react, Jaune's schlong snatched Crescent Rose from Ruby, and shot several birds in the head.

The loss of her sex slave, Crescent Rose, and the death of the birds that were just as worthless as her, caused Ruby to sob so uncontrollably she passed out from dehydration. Her helpless and water lacking body lying on the ground caused Jaune to ejaculate. Unfortunately, his prick was pointed at Yang's boom box, and his seed short circuited the shitty sound maker.

"And they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming..." The boombox cried out in agony, forced to endlessly perpetuate a lyric from that one popular song from Smash Mouf like how straight people perpetuate the patriarchy, whilst more baby batter leaked out of Jaune's dong.

Before Yang could act on her unholy fury and discharge both her gauntlets at once up the Arc asshole, the surviving birds of the flock all took multiple dumps on Yang's precious hair that wasn't even that special, and her face, as they had all been literally scared shitless.

"Help me, oh my God! Sonadabeech! Holy shit! It's in my mouth!" Yang screamed as the crap dribbled into her oral entrance.

"Ha ha, it's birdpoop all over her face! Ha ha, look, and she's eating it, ha ha!" Nora moronically guffawed like an imbecile who was stupid.

And she was eating it, with tears streaming down her face. But these weren't the entire beehive reamed up the ass with no condom kind of tears, these were the tears of actual fedora-free euphoria.

"It's so thick and creamy, I can't get enough of this! This is delicious! Yes! YES!" Yang chorused by herself as she scooped the poop with her hands and shoveled it all into her greedy face cavity, and swallowed it all with her mouth open.

As everyone else looked at her in disgust except for Jaune, who was busy filming the spectacle and attempting to conceal his already hardening cock, Yang reached into her cleavage and pulled out an entire rocket launcher, complete with rockets. She rained down destruction and carnage upon the poor avians with explosive projectiles, except she actually rained up destruction and carnage because the birds were in the sky, and the explosive projectiles were still explosive projectiles.

As more birds died and lost control of their bowels, Ruby suddenly stopped being pathetic and got serious. Disgusted by Yang guzzling down the hot and sticky shit, Ruby grew suspicious of Jaune who had given up restraint and was furiously masturbating without even taking off his gloves.

"Yare yare daze," Ruby muttered in an inexplicably deep and masculine voice, "This must be the work of an enemy semblance!"

Ruby had figured out that Jaune had activated his semblance for the first time, and although its power was confusing and did not really make sense, all Ruby had to do was knock him out.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA! ORA!" Ruby shouted as she treated Jaune to rapid power fisticuffs in his face, powered by her semblance. Yang could not be more proud.

Yang retched up all the bird dung and cried, this time with the tears of regret, yet gratitude toward her sister for freeing her from Jaune's perverse powers.

Jaune was thrown in jail and Yang laughed at him. Then she went and banged all the other inmates, who came on her face.

To not be continued


End file.
